Project Runway: Notes from a Super Fan

Whew! How fun was THAT?!?! Wow. I invited people over for a party to watch my episode of Project Runway, asked them to “dress like you mean it” and let people go from there. I didn’t get a lot of good pictures. But I can show you some amazing shoes! Later. I am giggling and delighted at how they edited “me”. I do think they captured my enthusiasm.

I have oh-so-much to say about my time in New York and the inside look at the making of the show. But first, let’s just get down to brass tacks: Ken, the green fabric, and the dress.

Yep, I got Ken. You have to remember, when we walked into the workroom, that was our introduction to each other. The season had not started yet. When we were introduced, we knew that these were the top 50% of the designers and that they had just come off 8 challenges in a row. So they were tired, worn down, seasoned, and being introduced to “real women.” They told me I was paired with Ken, I greeted him and congratulated him on making it so far.

We got together, chatted and he sketched. It was amazing to watch him work and sketch. (sincerely)
They did not really define the challenge AT ALL. They never said, “do a party look” or “show the lady to her best advantage.” To be honest, I was really hoping for something dazzling. This was their chance to really show their point of view and I think they should have RUN with it. He sketched a gown, a short dress with a kicky skirt and a jacket, and the dress that they showed. I was very excited about the gown. He dismissed it immediately. And I am not sure why. But at this point, I was really trying not to dictate his process. I must have said 100 times, “I want you to love it,” “I want you to be happy with the look.” And on and on. And let me say FOR THE RECORD – he picked that green. From the sketches on, he started in green. And I thought that was a good direction. I wear a lot of bright colors and I was glad we were not in the beige and nude pallet. And besides, everything changes when you go to Mood and start to turn the sketch into an actual LOOK.

We were taken away from the work room and sequestered. Then they shuttled us to Mood. We entered in separate groups, then, once the cameras were rolling, we were allowed to speak again. Obviously I was wildly excited to be there. Mood is unparalleled as a fabric store. It is a magical place. I let Ken go and do his own thing and I went to the silk area. I found some really beautiful prints, flowing, small floral, and gauzy lovely draping silks. Divine. At some point Ken came over and I showed him the ones I had pulled and he said, “No, no, and no.” Okay. That’s fine. And then I followed him and he showed me an olive green jersey that he had pulled. I said, “that’s okay. I don’t love the color. But it will work.” He said, “Let’s hold it here, and we’ll keep looking.” I said, “Okay!” He looked more and brought over the other green (that the dress was made from). HE PICKED IT OUT. AND HE LOVED IT! LOVED IT. He said he loved it more than once. It was/is a silk with a slub in it.
You can see the two here together.
It have a good texture, and it was quite thick. (And now, I have to laugh a little. Ken has picked really thick fabrics all along. Remember the glamping challenge where he uses a heavy fabric and does a sculpture in the front out of THICK wools all combined. And in HORRIBLE colors. Most notably last week, he used purple wool suiting to make a gown. A sleeveless gown for a wedding. So looking at that in hind sight, it is such a “Ken” choice.)

We went together down to the leather section. (Pause – the leather section, at Mood!! A whole section of hides and skins and patent, and suede. It was breathtaking.) He was thinking and pulling things to the table. And I thought that he was going to make a jacket. I asked quietly, “Which look are we going with here?” And he said, “the dress,” meaning the short dress. I was a little bit disappointed that we had left the gown arena, but okay. And the clock was ticking. I didn’t want to throw him off. He said something like, “I think I will use this for the trim.” There were no cameras around at that moment and I spoke my mind. I said, “Ken, they are giving you two days for this challenge. You have to really dazzle them. If you just do a dress, they will say ‘Is this all you did?'” And he said, “Yes, I will have to really make it great. That’s okay. I will.” At that point, I had said it and he went to go look for what else he needed.

Later, we met up again and he had the gray leather. Hmm. Maybe he was going to do a jacket after all? Time was up and there was no more talking. We went out to the “holding area” again and we were “on ice.” That means no talking.

I did not hate the green. I did not hate the sketch he had done. He loved the green. And, if you watch carefully, he does say that on camera in the work room.

Here the dress is inside out. And the neck is just okay, but you can see there is a fit issue. It needs darts. He could have done the shaping in the leather, but he didn’t. At least here my bra isn’t actually showing.

As I watched the season, and Ken started to come off as a rager, it was hard to watch. The first time, I really thought the big fight was kicked off because he was defending Helen against Sandro’s comments, but then it kind of veered into his own shoutfest. As the season progressed, he kept screaming and swearing episode after episode and my heart sank. I started defending him and feeling bad that he was getting such a harsh edit. But every week, week after week, they cannot possibly be that far off if he has given them that much material for them to work with. Sorry Ken. I started to worry about how his confessionals were going to be… Was he going to go behind my back and say ,”DID YOU SEE HER!?!?!…” Or, if he would actually pull a Ven and say, “I knew there was not a belt in the room that would fit her…” He didn’t go quite that far. But he certainly has his own twist on the events.

I will tell you that all of the designers were very respectful. No one was treated badly. Ken was very nice to me, in person. He offered to let me sew a seam on the dress (at the shoulder) and that was a THRILL. Poor Sue, she never got the hang of those machines. Oh, that is another post. Ken never gave me the stink eye. (He gave it to Heidi last week though! And she called him right out! ) He never gave me any attitude…when I was there.
After the show is another matter. Now he is tweeting that he hated the green and that I picked it. And that he threw the challenge! He is saying that he wanted to go home and that they practically begged him to stay. That is just sour grapes talk. If you want to leave Project Runway you leave. The crazy, and perhaps brilliant, Japanese designer left one or two seasons ago. And didn’t the older lady leave too? Just pack your bags and leave. Easy as that. You don’t have to yell at anyone. Everyone watching will agree that you wasted an amazing vehicle in which to showcase your work. And then you will be forgotten 10 minutes later. Instead, if you tweet you wanted to leave the show AFTER THE FACT, you are just sour grapes. And you have confirmed for all, on national TV, that you would be very hard to work with. Can you imagine being on a design team with him? In a work place? Even if your collection does not show at fashion week, there are people watching you, and you could get hired off that show anytime. Unless, of course, you act as volatile as a toddler and Tim Gunn has to have a counseling session with you and point out, with greatest care, that you have an anger issue. You are not moving to the top of the candidate pool after that goes down.

Coming soon, I’ll have more behind-the-scenes stories. Fun, fun and more fun. (Update: You can read the next part in this series, all about the first day of filming, here.)

(All pictures in this post are from

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61 Comments to Project Runway: Notes from a Super Fan
    • Karen K.
    • Wow. First of all, congratulations on being picked to get on the show — what an amazing experience! I’m really, really glad that all the superfans were treated well. I thought your makeover was great — I absolutely love your hair!! And I thought the green was a beautiful color on you. I’m sorry it didn’t turn out to be a great dress, because I really thought it had potential.

      And I think you’re absolutely right about Ken. I’m not surprised at all that he’s trying to blame the fabric choice on you — some people just can’t take responsibility for their own actions. He’s like Ven from a couple of seasons back (the one who was so awful to his client in the real-woman challenge). They’re both in total denial about their bad behavior, though Ven isn’t nearly as crazy as Ken. I’d be surprised if he ever got work as a designer.

      I look forward to reading more of your posts about Project Runway!

        • Amelia
        • Suzi! Thank you so much for commenting about your experience on PR. You were absolutely gorgeous throughout the show! I’m excited to have found your site and can’t wait to check it out and to hear more about your time on PR. The judges were right; you truly glowed on the runway and your ‘makeover’ was stunning– though you were certainly beautiful before! I can’t imagine how intense and tricky an experience it must be to be thrown into the competition midstream, with all the pressure the designers are under. You handled it with perfect grace. And wow– you rocked that runway. Bravo!

        • Samantha Allen - The Lowell Sun
        • Hi Susie – Thanks so much for sharing your experiences. I would love to write a similar story about Jane-Sarah McFarlane, who was Dom’s superfan, for our local newspaper here in Lowell, Massachusetts. She’s from Lowell and I think it would be a wonderful story for people to hear about her experiences with PR. Do you know how I can reach her who I could contact with the show that might know how to get ahold of her? All the best to you! Samantha Allen, the Lowell Sun, 978-970-4658,

    • Meredith P
    • Thank you so much for all the information, Suzi! You and all the SuperFans were just great. It was obvious that you were fans and that you had a great deal of understanding of how the show works (unlike the designers sometimes) and you all had great attitudes. Can’t wait to hear more. And aren’t you glad you hadn’t had benefit of seeing any of this season’s episodes before your trip? Hope the negativity didn’t creep in while you were there!

      • Susi
      • Meredith, Thank you so much for your kind words. Yes, I am REALLY glad I didn’t see the episodes before we met the designers. ! Man! That would have been HARSH!

    • Ros
    • YOU GOT TO SEW ON PROJECT RUNWAY. I can’t imagine anything more awesome.

      It must have been so tough to watch the rest of the series knowing how this all panned out. I’m glad you had a good time while you were there, though.

    • Allison
    • What a fun night! Thanks so much for the invite. I completely agree with Heidi. You were the best model by far. It’s pretty fabulous that even though you were paired with a difficult designer, you were happy, enthusiastic and nice the whole time. Your personality and beauty really sparkled!

      My favorite part was when you were giving him the rundown of what the judges were going to say. He should have let you design the dress yourself!

    • Teddie
    • Thanks for this fun back-story. I felt so bad for you paired with Ken, as I think he should have been shown the door several episodes previously. But you were a remarkable model/superfan — and you did his work more than justice. It looked like you have a wonderful time, and you made the episode fun. I’m very glad Ken’s gone, and believe me no one is paying attention to his after-edit remarks, especially any rudeness about you. Congratulations!

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    • Jacob
    • This was a great insight into the competition and all of the SuperFans looked like they had a blast so at the end of the day I think it was a success. You really looked stunning after your makeover, and honestly I didn’t hate Ken’s look, I didn’t love it (it wasn’t a very flattering look but you rocked it), but it wasn’t completely awful. You and all the other fans were a blast to watch.

    • April
    • My friend and I loved how you knew exactly what the judges were going to focus on and that Heidi would want the dress shorter, ha. It was wonderfully meta and I’m glad it aired. And I’m sorry Ken has tried to sweep you up in his remnants of nonsense.

      • Susi
      • April, Thank you for that! On the preview they just showed me saying “Heidi would want it shorter” And taken in isolation, I sounded like I was ripping Heidi, and being very “instructive” to my designer. So I was relieved when they let the whole sentence air. Complete with my impersonations. (almost) It is a shame that the “throw down” took so much time from “our” episode.

    • Virginia T.
    • Susi,
      I just watched this episode last night. I can tell you that prior to the elimination when Tim Gunn had to sit down and discuss living arrangements and anger management with Ken I said to my husband, “I bet Ken will soon be seeing his PR days come to a close.” I liked the color but not the weight of the fabric he chose and I thought he did an awful job of fitting and tailoring the dress to you. I do think your hair cut and color is super flattering and I’m so happy that you were able to get through the experience with a smile. Your personality truly was “bigger than the dress”.

      • Susi
      • Virginia. Even though I knew what was going to happen (on the runway) I thought the same thing. If you pitch a fit, you don’t get “rewarded” by getting your own room! Thank you for your kind words!

    • Dee
    • I was worried your great runway walk and how well you were selling the dress would end up keeping Ken out of the bottom. You looked gorgeous, and from one redhead to another, great color on you. Knew he was protesting too much in those confessional scenes. Good riddance. I wish Lifetime would stop casting emotionally disturbed people. But you survived and were amazing! Keep that haircut!

      • Susi
      • Dee, you made me laugh. I decided before I went that I would just try my best to rock the look. I didn’t want to contribute to a bad outcome. (If that was the way it was going to go.) And I agree, there is “reality” and then there is just dysfunction. I hope they hit a better balance next season. Thanks for stopping by! And for your kind support!

    • Sharon
    • Susie, I thought the dress, although it did have some fit problems, was not the worse design. I thought Alexander’s should have been the one they chose to “Auf”. You looked great and the makeover was fantastic. My daughter and I recently went to New York and visited Mood. There is so much fabric to choose from, and I think Ken made a poor choice. With your lovely hair and coloring, he could have played on that and given you a great, fresh look. I think, because of his tantrum and history, they wanted him off the show, and this was their chance. Had Ken not showed such disrespect of the show and given his (what seemed like) bipolar personality, I think he would not have been selected to be sent home. You are, as I see it, a victim of his bad behavior. I would have hoped that after seeing the show and how he looked to the world, that he would have sought help rather than tweeting to the world how this was the fault of others. He needs to own up to his actions and take responsibility for his actions.

      I also hope that his family and his “spiritual guide” will see the truth and offer him some help, rather than encouraging his actions.

      • Susi
      • Sharon, I agree. Although, I have to say, I did not feel like a victim of his behavior. All I mean is I didn’t “lose” anything the whole time. And I too wish Ken well. Because this did not work out well as an experience for him. Thank you very much for your lovely words.

      • Susi
      • Renee, Your words have stuck with me today. You are right. He is young. At the beginning of each season, I don’t put a whole lot on the young designers. They are so inexperienced (in work, in life…) It is really a pressure cooker at any age. Thank you for the lovely compliment.

    • Gin
    • A few quick comments, but I am dying to hear the rest of the story…

      1) Did I hear Tim Gunn call you “effervescent”? Game over, you win.

      2) You are most definitely a redhead, in the best way possible (speaking as one). If your hair wants to be red, trust it.

      3) I love that color and the fabric, but Ken was fighting it and trying to make it do things it didn’t want to do. It’s also a fabric that shows all the faults on the stage under the bright lights; the same fabric in black would have been so much more forgiving of construction flaws. I could see the green as a fantastic evening coat with lapels, and maybe the leather as accents on a simpler dress underneath.

      • Susi
      • Gin,
        1. HA!!! When I was watching the show, I shouted! And that is exactly how I felt! “Okay, that was enough! we are done!”
        2. Thank you for the nice compliment
        3. I feel like it needed darts in the small of my back. He bought lining. And that would have really helped add structure the garment.
        I can’t wait to see the designs that everyone turns in next week!!
        Thank you for visiting, and for taking time to leave all your comments! We both really enjoy the discussion!

    • DK
    • I am just starting the episode (streaming, and it’s taking awhile to load…), but I have to say I was super excited that you were on the show and then SUPER bummed when I saw you got paired with Ken. I’m glad it was a good experience for you, at the very least. But, seriously, you’d think by this season the contestants would realize they will have to eventually design for a “real woman”.

      • Susi
      • DK, Right? Any designer who acts even a little bit surprised at ANY challenge has NOT watched the show! I am blown away by that. Streaming can be aggravating. Prime multitasking time. Thank you for coming by!

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    • marsha
    • Hi Susi. Thanks so much for sharing your experience with those of us who love the show. When I saw the previews, I thought, Uh-oh. I hope Ken treats his super fan well, and I’m glad he gave you no trouble except for the green fabric. I didn’t think the fabric was that bad, and I actually thought the dress should have rated higher than some of the other entries. You looked fabulous. It’s not that you needed a makeover but that PR hair and makeup team sure knows what they’re doing.

      I got very sidetracked by Ken this season. I’d wanted him do well after he said he’d been homeless. He’s very young. But when he became abusive—extremely abusive—I realized that he is preventing his own success. We viewers never know how much editing is done to the show, so I place much value on your Green Fabric Story. This is evidence that Ken is full of sour grapes and we must ignore his comments about the show.

      I usually prefer the challenges that use professional models on the runway. No weird materials. No male strippers. But I must give you and the other super fans props. You were all full of enthusiasm and obvious knowledge about the show (and probably about design as well). You were all just adorable.

    • Susi
    • Marsha, What a GREAT review. Of course, the intelligent viewer (such as yourself) is paying attention to the show, and takes the whole salt shaker (not just a grain) with them to view each episode. We really don’t know how the editing will “tell a different story”
      I will admit, I like to see the real model challenges. Only because no designer is going to make a living selling only red carpet dresses. AND because there are successful actresses in all sizes as well. But given the time constraints, and tempers involved, the “real woman” model challenges are not always successful on the show. Thank you SO much for stopping by, and joining the conversation. And, thank you for your very flattering comments.

    • Hannah
    • In a recent commencement speech, the science fiction writer Neil Gaiman said that in creative fields, you really only need three things for success. People will want to work with you if you do excellent work, do it on time, and are pleasant to work with.

      And then he continued with the observation that while possessing all three is ideal, you actual only need two of the three to make it: 1) you can be pleasant to work with and on time, and people will overlook sometimes mediocre work or 2) you can do excellent work and be pleasant to work with, and people will overlook a few missed deadlines or 3) you can do excellent work and be on time with it, and people will forgive some personality difficulties.

      While the fashion industry does harbor some extreme personalities, aspiring divas like Ken would do well to consider that those personalities are a handicap, not an asset.

    • Susi
    • Hannah, That is food for thought. I believe those comments could apply to any field. And they are such valid points to consider. The “pleasant to work with” would take effect in any sort of team environment. And unless you are a writer, I don’t think there are very many fields where you will not be working with other people.
      I think that if you sincerely lacked one of those components all together, that you would be successful at nothing. If you NEVER produced anything that your boss/market was looking for, if you were NEVER on time, or if you were on a hair trigger and impossible to even talk to – you would not be able to excel at anything. #1 is a matter of taste. #2 is a skill that can be honed. #3 is just a drive from inside you. And while you can work to improve your social skills and communication, I think this one would be the hardest to change.
      I bet that the comments on most blogs do not include quotes from commencement speeches. And then dialogue with the community. Thank you for confirming what I already believed: our readers are smart, reflective, engaged, and, of course, oh so talented. ! I REALLY enjoyed that thought for the day. Thank you!

      • Hannah
      • Lots of writing that is steady work and pays the bills is delivered on deadlines. And even writers who work alone collaborate with editors and publishers and publicists and (if they are successful) fans…so maybe it applies even more broadly. Few and far between are the lone geniuses who don’t need to pay bills or who are set for life after a single success.

        I also think that within all three of the components there are things within your control and not in your control. Some people are better at planning and punctuality. Some people have better social intelligence or sunnier dispositions. Some people have more innate talent or potential. But most of these things can be improved, at least to some degree, with sustained attention and hard work.

        If you’re interested in Gaiman’s speech, it’s definitely worth a listen. Here’s a link

    • Aliana
    • I did not like the dress Ken made for you, especially the color, shape, and fit, but I really like your report of your experience. You are very fair in your comments here and have given us some insight into the show’s production. Also, you had a great presence on the show. Best of luck to you, and do keep the red hair. 🙂

      • Susi
      • Aliana. Thanks for that! I am trying to answer all the questions that I would have asked if someone else had done this. I’m glad you like the report. And thank you for your kind words.

    • Marge Leyden
    • I’m glad that when you were paired with Ken that you had no idea what his behavior had been over the past weeks before. If you had I’m sure it would have really made your super fan experience stressful rather than allowing you to enjoy the time behind the scenes. I know I was on edge the entire time you were conversing with Ken hoping that he would treat you with respect.

      • Susi
      • Marge,
        I thought about that a lot. It was hard to watch the first 8 episodes unfold. But how on earth could I have kept a straight face when I was paired with him if that had been “in real time”? Would I have actually said “Uh OH!” ? Because, as you all saw first hand, I do NOT have a poker face. I wouldn’t even know where to rent one.

      • Susi
      • Doonvarn, Let me say, I will go to NY any time of the day/week/year that Lifetime will have me back. In a heart beat. But I feel pretty lucky that I got there the first time too! Thanks for visiting us!

    • Mary Boxer
    • Susi,
      Thank you for this blog. It is amazing how the producers edited this to give the impression that you had picked out the fabric. Congrats on being on the show. You are just lovely and well grounded. I wish Ken had made you a flowing dress out of the floral you saw. Maybe he didn’t know how to work the fabric. He also said in his blog he wanted to throw the challenge. I hope not. I would love to know the inside scoop from the participants, but I know they would be sued if they did. Best wishes.

      • Susi
      • Mary,
        Thank YOU for coming to our space here. The editing was interesting. But really, they were just taking Ken’s confessionals. In all fairness, they did leave in pictures of his hands sketching the green dress. And they left in one comment where he says “I love it” in the work room. If they had put me back in the confessional and said “what do you think of the fabric you choose?” then we would have a counter point. But that never happened. I would have loved to have seen some other creation too. On Thursday, our Project Project Runway challenge is to see what some of OUR designers would have done for me. (How flattering!) I cannot wait to see!!

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    • Jennie Brown
    • I always cross my fingers during the real world challenge hoping that the ladies don’t get treated badly–Jeffrey Sebelia an Ven come to mind. I’m glad to hear that Ken behaved himself while you were there. That he is now trying to change history with his comments is not surprising. Oh well…

      On the bright side, you took a plain, ill-fitting dress and made it into the best dress it could possibly be. And you had a PR experience that the rest of us would kill to have. I hope they do this again so I can have another chance to be a superfan.

    • Judy
    • Susi, I have to say first, Loved You! Loved your enthusiasm and positivity here and on the show! Thank you for the behind the scenes info about Project Runway! Loved it! I’m a super-fan too and loved reading about the stuff I don’t see on the show… I wish I could know every detail – is that too forward of me? As I was reading your above page – I had so many questions go through my head – Please disregard the following questions if I am being to inquisitive or intrusive…

      How far in advance did you know you were going to be on Project Runway?

      How did they notify you – phone or letter?

      Did you absolutely flip when you found out you were selected?

      Did they fly you first class – and was the hotel nice?

      Before you went to Parsons – when we saw you for the first time – how long had you been there – did you get to do a lot of sight seeing?

      What were your first impressions of the other super-fans?

      Did you become friends with any of the other super-fans? or was there any of them you did not get along with?

      Were you nervous? And when was your MOST nervous part?

      How many days total did you get to stay in NY?

      How much sight seeing did you get to do? Did they have tours scheduled for you or dinners, etc. scheduled for you and the others?

      How much time was spent at Parsons and Mood? Is their dog – Swatch – really running around there – or I should say – laying around there… lol? Did you get to take pics there in Mood?

      Was the staff of Project Runway nice to you? Were you on a hectic schedule – running here and there – or was it an enjoyable adventure?

      When you got your dress – have you worn it any where? And if you did – did anyone comment about it or recognize it?

      Are you pretty “famous” in your area – do people recognize you or do your friends bombard you with a bunch of goofy questions – ummm….. like me….

      Was there a bunch of stuff recorded that was edited out that you wish they would have left in… or vise versa?

      Do you regret anything about the trip?

      Did you get to get autographs of Tim Gunn, Heidi, Nina and Zac? Did you get to take pics of them from your own camera?

      Did you get to talk with any of the judges or Tim – one on one? What were they like in person? Is there any conversations you would feel comfortable sharing?

      Did you get paid for being on their show? (not that you needed to be or that you wanted to be – I’m sure it was such a thrill just being there… but I always wondered that!)

      Oh gracious! I have so many questions – I’m so sorry! I was just so excited to find your site and your behind the scenes take on Project Runway… I’m a fan too (if you couldn’t tell) and got a “little” carried away! lol

      (I had to really force myself to stop with these questions… I could go on forever! LOL)

    • Susi
    • Okay, Super fan Jennie! You know your stuff! Thanks for coming and for chatting with us!!
      Before I left for the show, I was worried that I would be paired with “Ven”. And I texted my friend who is OH so witty and clever. ( I think I texted her from the airport) and I asked her what I would do if that happened? And she texted back a ZINGER. I carried that in my head, and felt protected by it. I wanted to make sure I felt brave and confident, so that if I got backed into a corner I could handle it, and I did not try to “take the heckler down” In each case, when the designer was ill mannered to the “real model” client, the designer came off looking bad. Not the client.
      And – did you see Christina Hendrick’s in her Christian Siriano Emmy dress?
      There is a women who is not size 00 and she is celebrating every pound. And that is a wildly successful red carpet look. Bravo! (or should I say “Lifetime”!? )

    • Ken Harrison
    • I have to say that I was a bit concerned for you when you were paired with Ken. He’d already shown his lack of respect for other people, so i was pleasantly surprised that he was nice to you. You were a real trooper throughout the show and I LOVED your walk down the runway and after. What happened to the dress? Do you have it or does the show keep it?

    • Kit
    • Ken, Susi mentioned somewhere way up post that PR mailed them their dresses, and that she received hers the same day the episode aired.

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    • Rochelimit
    • Hey Susi, love your appearance in the show! You’re probably the best real person challenge that is there in Project Runway! I mean you’re understanding and not over-demanding (obviously being a Superfan, you know that demanding too much to the designer is a big no no).

      Very sorry that you got Ken as a designer, he needs to be in a one year mental institution session before joining Project Runway IMHO. Thankfully your personality outshone his dress, it was happy to see you walking on the runway, even though the dress was off.

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