I was crafting along. And then. Life took over.
Here is the reality of it… I lost my father in June. And then I lost a beloved Aunt last Friday. Then, my Mom called this morning from the hospital. (she is fine. she is fine. she is fine.)
I am breathless.
I have a threenager running around, mostly joyous and light and magical, singing made-up songs, and barking like a dog. And sometimes growing suction cups out of her hands and feet and sticking to the sidewalk, refusing to budge for a reason that is clear to her.
There is preschool, and car repair (DAYS sucked into the vortex of “car repair”), and the dishes. The vacuum fairy has not made it to our house yet. But, really, I am waiting for her great Auntie, the purging fairy.
Sewing and Knitting fall into a circus balancing act at these times. I need to step away and put two seams together. I need to sit, still, and figure out where I am in the flower section of the fair isle. And with the same strength, I need to take care of my daughter. And keep the schedule moving. And wash clothes periodically. The very act of creating something means I am still “me”. And it gives me control over something. Something inanimate, which is good. While I could always spend more time with the kid, more time cleaning, or my time making dinner fancier, it is still important (to me) to make something. Or at least make progress on something. (Do they really both need dinner every, single, night? )
Somehow, the grief has not taken “time”. But it has taken something. It is as if someone pushed a “slow mo” button somewhere. I have had to ask people to repeat conversations that I am sure that we had. Or “send me that in e-mail” because my brain is frozen. Then it snaps back on again.
I’m sure this will pass. It is the Arc of Grief. I will try to decorate for Halloween. Before Halloween. I will try to record the made up songs. Because I don’t want to miss them. (no one should miss them) I will crank out a Word Girl Costume, even if I have to stay up all night on October 30. (please oh please, no.)
It will all be fine. Everyone will find their way back to a normal. My head will function at a higher level again.
I put this out there to all of you too – all of you lovely readers who have been looking at this blog. It’s a craft blog. It will never be an expose. But it is also very real. It is a conversation, between two friends, crafting. So I thought it was time to share the ying and the yang of the crafting balance. And I am betting that you can all relate. If only I could write a “how to” that was “how to find the time”. Or “DIY: organize the craft HOUR in your day.” I’ll keep looking.
I wish you all a peaceful fall, filled with family and friends and a good night’s sleep, and an hour or two of time with the needles in your hands.
© 2005 – 2012 Kathy Lewinski & Susan Cornish